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broken
June 2009 
i lost a friend today
Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008
by 
ladybug
ladybug
i lost a friend this morning at 1:16am. i woke up to a text from his sister saying he died from drug overdose.
of all the things to be thinking about i can't get it out of my head the unkept promise i made to him. i promised him months ago that i would make him a tie-dye pillow case, but i haven't gotten around to it yet. and now it's too late. i feel so horrible for that broken promise. it's weird. it makes me feel like i've let him down. though i'm sure the thought hasn't crossed his mind at all.
i see first hand from this experience the fragility of life. how easy it is to get carried away in the moment to have it cost your life. makes me thank GodLove for another day here in a healthy body.
of all the things to be thinking about i can't get it out of my head the unkept promise i made to him. i promised him months ago that i would make him a tie-dye pillow case, but i haven't gotten around to it yet. and now it's too late. i feel so horrible for that broken promise. it's weird. it makes me feel like i've let him down. though i'm sure the thought hasn't crossed his mind at all.
i see first hand from this experience the fragility of life. how easy it is to get carried away in the moment to have it cost your life. makes me thank GodLove for another day here in a healthy body.
Access: Public
Oh my goodness.
Jessica.
I’m so sorry. This grabbed my heart so tightly I almost lost my breath. A drug overdose? I’m so sorry.
Hugs to you…
…Love and comfort to you Ladybug…
…make him a rainbow pillowcase in meditation and give it to him…
..I Know he will recieve it and give you thanks…
Losing someone so suddenly is a difficult thing to deal with yet a beautiful moment of truth. And you said it…the fragility of life. It makes you think about how grateful you are for yourself and all the other beautiful people in the world.
My grandmother died suddenly November 7th. I know the feeling of shock you have when you hear the awful news. Just use that energy and love in other places. Love the people you’re with even more love and more energy. Make the tye dye pillow case for someone else just as special to you!
Siona - thank you for your hugs and sincere heart-ache over our loss.
Will - what a fabulous idea and so true. thank you… that will give me peace over the issue. i was thinking to make his sisters and mom the tie-dye pillow cases in honor of him. perhaps i will do both.
Celilia - Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry for your loss. And so true what you said, I will apply my energy in positive ways.
Hey jessica, I only just read this, but know that if you ever need to talk to someone about this, i’m here.
I came close to losing one of my best friends last year to an od. It felt like I couldn’t breathe in fully for days, because his life was up in the air for a while. We had friendship bracelets from when we were kids, and we made a promise to never take them off. I took mine off almost a year before this happened, and when he was in the hospital and rehab I was sobbing for days because I couldn’t find it and I felt like the worst person in the world- all I wanted to do was be able to welcome him home and show him that I still had the silly bracelet. When I told him all that, he laughed and said that his had basically disintegrated off a while ago. He told me that the bracelet didn’t matter, but the strength of us and our friendship held him up at some of the darkest places.
What I’m getting to is that life is beautiful and spectacular and fragile and brief and gone before we appreciate it was here. It’s not defined by our things, but our love. Your friend knew your love, as you know his, and that will endure past death.
If it will make you feel better, make the pillowcase (or pillowcases- good idea, Will!). But know that you didn’t let him down.
Good luck, and be well. Grieving sucks, but I have no doubt that you’ll come through it with grace.